Is there anything in this test that causes you ANY hesitation? Are you absolutely sure you meant every word, without conditions?

Most people say "absolutely"! I know that perhaps you want to mean it. I know your heart may be in the right place. I also know that most can not HONESTLY say these words without some hesitation.

The issue here is not that you are weak, nor that you do not love God. The point I am going to make is this. Be HONEST! If you are afraid to say Thy Will be done and mean it, simply don't say it. That's all, just tell God the Truth. He already knows it anyway, so decide now that you will remove the block of well meaning lies you have placed between you and a strong relationship with God. Say something like this instead.

Father I want to be able to honestly say Thy Will be done and mean it.(if you do that is ) I want to be all You would have me to be, but right now I am not quite there yet. Help me to release my fears, or whatever restrictions I have placed between us. Help me to be honest with You in all things. I want to serve You Father, but I also want my family to be safe. I do not wish for them to suffer or to be placed in danger. Show me ways I can serve You now, even with these fears and restrictions my heart places on my desire to serve. If need be Father forgive my weaknesses at this time, and if need be help me to become stronger that I may be ready for greater service in the future. (Amen)

Now that we are working on honesty, perhaps we should look a little deeper into your secrete self and answer some other questions. We will look at several items that we will have to work on in order to really get honest with ourselves, and God. It is not difficult to become honest with yourself, and most things that have caused you much anguish and fear can many times be easily released. Once released, you will notice improvements in many areas of your life. So we will start with a question, as we did above, then acknowledge it as "at least a possibility", then answer it, then hopefully release and heal it.

The answer to this for most of us is , well, I love God, He created me, hmm, do I trust God huh? I want to, and maybe I do.

Not good enough. I am not looking for your proper Christian or religious upbringing here, or what you want to be able to say, or your top of the head reply, but the honest deep down inside truth.

Most of us when we search deep within find a little doubt. Oh yeah, we know God is always truthful. We know God never lies. We know God would not steal from us. But do we trust Him in all ways, and in all things? Usually, no.

Now we have to ask why not? Why do I have distrust for my Creator? Why would I have any hesitation in placing all I am, have, or will be into His hands unconditionally?

Well for one thing, it may be possible that God has not shown the same degree of importance on humans living through their experiences as humans do. Many people called to service became lion food, or had to travel in less than first class conditions in the belly of a whale, or walk around in little circles for 40 years in the desert, before their service was complete. Any human that says that they would not hesitate to joyfully accept any of these things needs more help than they are gonna get from me. Humans like living. We like comfort. We like being able to enjoy life, and pain, prison, extreme conditions, wells, whales, and Roman Arenas playing with lions do not appeal as the top ten choices of "things I want to do this summer".

It is OK to be cautious, and human. Just be honest in your prayers, and what you ask for. It is OK to ask for service even when you know you may not "enjoy" the experience itself, knowing you will reap the rewards of that service. Moses did not expect he would enjoy what he was asked to do, but he was willing to do it anyway. He was also honest with God and expressed his concerns. Many people serve in harsh conditions. What I am saying is that it is OK to say you dislike suffering, and also that you are willing to accept it if God needs you to. Just be honest.

 I have walked through the Valley of The Shadow of Death in my life. I was brought to a point I feel no man should ever have to be. I suffered pain and longed for death. I saw my daughter kidnapped several times, once she was gone for 5 years before we were re-united. I saw the Power of God in the miracles He granted in my favor when I started a Computer store with only $130.00 to my name and made over $250,000.00 in a year. I saw the reverse miracles when God took it all back and destroyed all I had accomplished. I know the pain of having to send the daughter I had fought for so many times and so many years away because I could not care for her. I have been dead in body yet unable to die, completely sustaned by the Spirit within me. I have also seen the forgiveness and majestic Mercy and Love of God when I was able to release everything and depend soley on Him.

No, I did not trust God. I realized I did not love Him, or Jesus Christ. I realized that when I got really honest with myself and looked at the human that dwelled within me, I did not even care that I did not love God. I honestly only cared about one thing. When we get right down to the nitty gritty, get honest with our true selves, we will be quite suprised just how selfish we really are. You see, nothing really matters in life if the one thing we really care about is not true. The one thing we all need. The one thing we all ask, and the one question that our whole eternity depends on is this. "Does God Love ME"? I can tell you this with all of my heart, mind, and might now, I know for a fact, the answer is YES. Beyond any imagination we can have yes.

Careful now. I know that as good Christians we are taught to accept Gods Will and never to question it or God. We are to respect God. We are to worship God. We are to bow down before Him. We are never taught to express anger toward Him.

No anger huh? Well, lets see. Has anything in your life ever made you angry? I mean like a death of a loved one through violence? Or an innocent person being injured by a drunk? Or you being falsely accused of something you did not do while the guilty party prospered? Do you find yourself being less than prosperous serving God and unable to afford to be able to spread the Word to the next city, while others prosper greatly and can afford to spread sin throughout the world? If the answer to any of these is yes, then you most likely have at least some anger with God.

Who is the most powerful Being in the universe? Who holds omnipotent power? Who is omnipresent and in all places at once? Who is all knowing and knows all our needs in advance? Who is it we ask for forgiveness, mercy, grace, protection, strength, health, and everything else we desire in life? Well then let us look at a little possibility here.

God knew you would be there. He knew you wanted His protection. He knew you were in service to Him. He knew how much you loved your child. He could have done many things to prevent this from happening. He could have miraculously prevented any harm from happening. He could have made the car miss you completely. He could have, should have, and perhaps would have, but did not. There is almost no way a part of you could not question God's motives, or apparent unconcern in an instance like this. If not on the surface, at least in your inner mind. But, that is a fact of life for humans, so if it is so let it be so. Acknowledge it to yourself.

We as Christians are to have a relationship with God. We are to respect Him of course, but in a relationship, there are always times when we do not agree. There are times when we have misunderstandings. There are times when one half of the relationship does something we do not like, such is life. We cannot really prevent these feelings, or the situations that cause them. We cannot expect God to always do what we want, or honestly say we are totally accepting of everything God does. The only thing we can do is be honest in our relationships. All of them of course, but especially our relationship with God.

God already knows exactly how you honestly feel. He sees the inner you. Right past the facial expressions, the mask of strength and perseverance, down through the feeble attempts of being strong and going on, even around the cloak of "Good Christian Behavior", to the real you. He sees the fear. He knows the doubt. He feels the pain. He suffers the loss, even more than you do. Remember, He could lose both of you. One to an accident, the other to grief and doubt.

Be honest with God, confess your fears, needs, sins, hopes, dreams, desires. Knowing he always hears. Know that God respects your rights as a human. God can do anything of course, but there are some things He does not seem to do. One is to force you to trust Him against your will. He cannot force you to release fear or pain or grief, you must desire to do so, then He will help.

Do you really Love God. One whom you cannot see, hear, touch, smell, or taste? Does it really matter to you whether or not you love God?

Perhaps we don't really feel like we love God at all times, be honest, tell your Father how you FEEL, and desire to do better.

You cannot receive that which you cannot give. This is a tough one too. However, there is hope. Remember that we are talking about honesty with God being the first priority? Well, honesty will help you with this one too.

Once you accept that a thing is true, then even in times of extreme emotion, you will have a sense of obeying the law. You may want to punch that dude, but because you know it is not right, either by man's laws, or by God's Laws, you are much more likely to obey, and refrain. However, I have talked to many Christians, and others, who have set circumstances on the requirements of forgiveness. Seems that a person must be worth forgiving for them to even try. Others say, "I forgive him, My God will deal with him!" Or how about the one, "I forgive him now, but he will burn in h, , ," you get the idea.

Forgiveness is not only for the person you are to forgive. It is for your own health and well being too. Life is much brighter when you do not carry the weight of others on your back. It is OK as a human to be angry, to want justice, to want revenge, to want satisfaction. It is not acceptable to continue with these feelings and nurture them. You were never expected to be the perfect door mat that everyone walks on at the door. Just be honest with God and tell Him you are having a hard time with forgiving someone. If you accept that you must forgive as a fact then it is easier. Simply attempt to pray as in the following. Remember a simple truth."If you are happy, without pain and at peace then whatever you have or do not have is of no importance. Neither is vengence or justice."

"Father you know I am filled with anger right now. I know I am supposed to forgive (" name") and I know you want me to love them too. Forgive me Father, but right now I cannot. I am filled with anger, and rage. I may even hate them Father. I feel like I want them dead, or to suffer like they have caused me to suffer. Forgive me Father, and help me to forgive them. Help me to someday be able to honestly say I forgive them. Help me to someday be honestly able to say I love them. I know You wish this of me Father, but right now I cannot do it. Please love them for me Father, Please bless them for me Father. Please forgive them for me Father. And please, remove this pain and anguish from me now so I can heal and grow in Your Love. Father, please help me to someday be able to do these things for too. Thank You Father."

Pray for the strength to forgive, pray to be able to pray consistently.

(Desire to forgive others, hold no anger no revenge no lies )

END More samples will be available as time permits. Thank you for visiting, and I pray you have and will be Blessed by your efforts.

Lewis

A couple of quotes

Most people are too Christian to enjoy sin, too sinful to enjoy Christ.(Author unknown)

Man preferrs to live and dwell in terrane he's seen before, but to know God's

Truth a man must risk and ask God to teach him more. (You never know it all. LEWIS JOHNSON 1998)